….

tired of talking about grades, of school and of university. tired of being talked down upon by mother, tired of hearing how ill just be “decent” as a bar student. im tired of settling with second best. why should i settle with being mediocre all my life? why cant people see that there are other ways to succeed, not merely power and money. and to think otherwise is taboo here, in singapore. i screwed up MY own life? CMON the bloody thing was one year ago. why cant someone forget about it already. WHY do i need to make YOU proud when its my future? and my consequences to bear? why are you so selfish and yet so generous at the same time? why am i still in this bloody rat race? im glad to be out, but why does leaving make me any less effective? am i doomed to failure?

im not gonna be mediocre all my life.

maybe i need a religion. maybe im just going against fate and the will of God.

i dont know, i dont know what i want anymore….. ARGHH!